Welcome To VoldeMart! How May We Help You?
by HappySmilesVarietyHour
Summary: Voldemort has a new plan to take over the Wizarding World, but this one is different than all the others. This one starts at Walmart.
1. Chapter 1

WELCOME TO VOLDE-MART ... HOW MAY WE HELP YOU?

CHAPTER 1

-----

He was a genius - a _bloody_ genius! Why had he never thought of this before? Such an obvious route of action, and in completely untapped territory!

The Dark Lord Voldemort pressed his wand to his Dark Mark, summoning his Death Eaters to his desolate location. It had been a long time since their last exchange of words; he had ordered them into hiding for the past three months, but it was now time to rise once again. No doubt they were incredibly curious as to what He had been doing in said time, and would perhaps hurry on their way. Of course, it could be the opposite way around - he may have caught them off guard and unprepared to join him in the parking lot he had decided to occupy that night.

It seemed that the latter was a closer estimate, for when the first whole minute had already passed, no one had yet arrived. Though he knew he should give them a lenience of a few more minutes, he was beginning to grow impatient. The victorious smirk he had initially donned began to fade when yet _another_ minute passed. He was beginning to consider that he had maybe pressed his wand to the wrong forearm (this was beginning to occur more and more often as he advanced in years), when the first Death Eater arrived.

As Lucius Malfoy made his way across the parking lot to the streetlamp that the Dark Lord stood beneath, he felt more than slightly relieved that he was the first one to turn up. The Dark Lord had caught him in the bath, and Lucius had found himself facing one of the most urgent decisions he'd ever had to make: should he dress properly for the occasion and arrive late, or should he show up in his bathrobe and arrive on time?

Luckily for him, he had made the right choice as to what garments he would wear this evening. However, as he approached the Dark Lord, he began to question his Lord's selection in attire, and, as he had done before in the past, the possibility that he had become senile in his old age. "My _Lord_! What are you _wearing_?"

Lucius clenched his jaw as he cursed himself, realizing what he had just done. To question the Dark Lord was worthy of a punishment as dreadful as the Dark Lord's life-long study of the Dark Arts could make it. He waited for retaliation, but it did not come. He chanced looking up at the Dark Lord, but did not find him to be angry. Instead, he had adopted an air of self-satisfaction and triumph.

"Lucius, I am surprised of you," the Dark Lord replied, gesturing to the outfit he had chosen for the evening. "Did you not recognize my attempt at Muggle fashion?"

"I had a vague idea," Lucius nodded, trying his best not to smile in amusement as the Dark Lord struck a suggestive pose, intent on giving Lucius a full demonstration of his fashion. "But, if I may ask, my Lord, _why on Earth_ are you dressed as a Muggle?"

"You will find out once everyone arrives, Lucius," the Dark Lord told him, moving more so into the light. When Lucius was sure the distance between he and the Lord was vast enough, he succumbed to a quiet fit of giggles beneath his drawn hood and behind his mask.

The Dark Lord had dressed himself in a brown, polyester suit that was developing a noticeable mold around the underarm and groin areas. Beneath the bellbottoms, of which the Dark Lord seemed incredibly fond of, Lucius noticed that he wore a pair of rainbow go-go boots that were at least three sizes too small for his feet. Once the bottom half of the Dark Lord's outfit had entertained Lucius long enough, his eyes traveled further north. On his usually skeletal hands he wore white, women's, driving gloves, and a detestable, orange bowtie had found its way around his neck. On top of his head, he wore what Lucius suspected was called a sombrero. As abominable as the Dark Lord's fashion sense was, Lucius had to give him a tip of the hat for his effort.

As other Death Eaters began to arrive, Lucius found his position in the circle that began to form around the Dark Lord and his streetlamp. Amongst them, he could hear similar whisperings as they too questioned the Dark Lord's eccentric, Muggle wardrobe.

"We aren't late, are we?" he heard a woman whisper into his ear as two Death Eaters joined him. He recognized the voice as belonging to his wife, Narcissa, and he assumed that the other figure that she pulled along was their son, Draco.

Lucius shook his head. "No, there are still several others who need to show-"

"Good _Lord_! Who _is_ that?" Draco scoffed and gestured towards the Dark Lord, who had his back turned to them as he conversed with one of the Death Eaters on the opposite side of the ring.

Lucius gave him a good thump on the side of his head. "You will not judge the Dark Lord, Draco. I would suggest that you express only respect and admiration towards him, unless you wish to be on the receiving end of his wrath."

Draco sneered through his mask at his father as he rubbed the spot where he had been hit. He thought it unfair that he should be punished for his remark, because, surely, he hadn't been the only one to point out the atrocity before him. Even his mother shifted uncomfortably as she gazed upon the Dark Lord, for she was undoubtedly fighting the urge to offer the Dark Lord some tips on his fashion.

Voldemort left Bellatrix to return to her place in the ring as he moved towards the center, the smirk he was wearing even wider now, thanks to her compliments. As the others realized that he was expecting their attention, they ceased conversation amongst themselves and turned to hear what the Dark Lord had to say. They had many questions as to what he had been doing in the past three months, and now their curiosity was even higher, having seen that the Dark Lord had taken it upon himself to wear Muggle clothing to this gathering, and had chosen their meeting place to be the parking lot of a Muggle store.

"My Death Eaters," he addressed them, striking the pose he had done earlier for Lucius once again to give all his Death Eaters a good glimpse at his suit. "Even though you were slightly more tardy than I am used to, I am extremely glad that you came as fast as you could."

The Death Eaters took the pause in the Dark Lord's speech as a chance to exchange confused glances with their neighbors. None present had memory of the Dark Lord being in this good of a mood before.

"I have taken the past few months to revise our course of action as a group," he continued, compelling them all to watch him as he strolled back and forth, his boots clicking on the pavement. "As you all know, our path has been fraught with mistakes and ... _inconveniences_-"

_'The Dark Lord admitting that he has been foiled by Harry Potter?'_ the Death Eaters collectively thought.

"-But _this_ time, I have thought of something so remarkable, so awe-inspiring, so - as the kids around_ here_ say - _radical_, that there is no possible room for failure."

"What is it, my Lord?" Bellatrix's voice penetrated the night. She sounded incredibly keen to hear His new plan.

"Patience, Bella," he told her, inclining his head in her direction. "I was just getting there. Three months ago, after I dismissed you from our last meeting, I began to consider what we could possibly do to assure absolute power in the Wizarding world. As I wandered the streets and occupied several small coffee shops, thinking all the while, I _got_ it. Muggles, my loyal followers. _Muggles_. If we wish to counter the Order of the Phoenix and Harry Potter, we need an army vaster than any army in history, Wizarding _or_ Muggle. After this realization, I began to watch the Muggles, trying to find their weakness, and, I am extremely proud to say, I _have_."

Voldemort turned towards the store and gestured grandly towards it. "This, my followers, is Wal-Mart, a favorite store amongst the Muggles. It has everything, and I mean _everything_. They want to buy clothing? It's here! They want to buy assorted Muggle devices? They're here! The Muggles worship this store almost as much as the deities they've created."

There was silence amongst the Death Eaters as the Dark Lord paused once again in his speech. Finally, Lucius voiced the question everyone wanted to know the answer to. "My Lord, just what are you suggesting?"

"I'm getting there, Lucius," the Dark Lord's tone became severe before returning to its noble manner. "My followers, for an undisclosed amount of Muggle money, I have purchased this store, putting myself in the position of CEO, or, in simpler terms that you can understand, the Chief. Starting tomorrow morning, we will occupy this Wal-Mart as a group, and we will slowly work the Muggles over until they are all on our side!"

A great burst of applause met this statement, but, even though they cheered, every Death Eater was as confused as the next. What were _they_ going to do within this store?

Voldemort put his hand up, halting the cat calls and yells of approval. When they had all stopped, he reached inside the breast pocket of his moldy suit and withdrew a piece of folded paper. "Now, when I call your name, step forward. I have already taken the liberty of assigning you to your jobs, seeing as how we are short of time. If we weren't, I would have let you sign up for what you wanted to do, but, unfortunately, that is not the case. Barty Crouch Jr., step forward!"

Shocked to hear his name first, Barty stepped out of the circle, breaking into a slight sweat as he waited to hear his position of work.

"_You_ are the Manager of this facility," Voldemort told him, allowing for a short bout of clapping before continuing. "Your job is to make sure everyone on the floor is doing their job when I am busy attending to matters in my nice, new office."

"Thank you, my Lord," Barty bowed low in gratitude before stepping back into his place in the circle. "You will not be disappointed."

"I would certainly hope not," Voldemort replied, narrowing his eyes at him before reverting back to his list. "Peter Pettigrew, step forward."

Almost hesitantly, a small, bumbling figure emerged from the sea of black.

"You will be assisting Crouch, and will abide to his every whim and need," Voldemort stated, cheering inwardly at the thought of getting Wormtail off his back for an unprecedented amount of time. "Narcissa Malfoy."

"Yes, my Lord?"

"You will be joining a Muggle woman for work in the Apparel department."

"I will do the best I can there, my Lord-"

"Lucius Malfoy and Rabastan Lestrange, you will be working amongst two male, Muggle teenagers in the Electronics department."

Lucius and Rabastan sneered in abhorrence behind their masks. Working with Muggle teenagers? Just how much thought _did_ the Dark Lord put into his list?

"Severus Snape."

He stepped forward. "Yes, my Lord? Where will you have me stationed?"

"You will be working in the 'For the Home' department. I bid you good luck, Severus. It will _not_ be an easy job, but I entrust _you_ with it."

Snape was fortunate that the Dark Lord continued to move down his list, preventing him from hearing the loud groan that he had let out.

"Nikolas Yaxley and Grant Mulciber, you will be in charge of the Garden and Patio department. Like with Severus, I wish you luck in your plight. Bellatrix Lestrange?"

Bellatrix bound forward, bowed before the Dark Lord, and pressed her lips to the toes of his go-go boots. "What will you have me do, my Lord?"

"_You_, my lucky girl, will be in the Gifts and Flowers department."

Bellatrix jarred on the spot, hoping that he had maybe made a mistake. However, he continued to plow on, moving away from her outraged figure.

"Alecto Carrow."

"My Lord?"

"You are now in charge of Jewelery. Fenrir Greyback, and Tristan Nott?"

Two figures from the furthermost reaches of the circle approached him, and one removed its mask. Bowing, Fenrir smiled in a cynical matter. "At your service."

"Pet department. Walden MacNair, and Regulus Black?"

Fenrir scowled, deeply offended. "The _Pet_ department?" he mumbled to Tristan as they moved back to their place in the ring, to be replaced by Walden and Regulus before the Dark Lord.

"You two will be placed in the Sports and Fitness department. Amycus Carrow and Oscar Jugson?"

Walden and Regulus exchanged a quick glance, quite satisfied with their position. Amycus and Oscar were not as happy to find out what department they would be in control of, though.

The corners of Voldemort's mouth tugged as he fought back a smirk. "Toys department. Wyatt Avery and Antonin Dolohov?"

As Wyatt moved forward, he crossed his fingers inside the arms of his robes. Beside him, Antonin whispered with fervor under his breath, wishing with all his might for a suitable assignment.

"Books department. Evan Rosier and Thorfin Rowle, _you_ are in charge of Maintenance and Security. Yes, we have now moved out of the department work. Let's see, now ... Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle."

As he stepped out from between his mother and father, Draco wondered what horrors the Dark Lord would have him do. His suspicions of tedious work were confirmed as the Dark Lord sealed his fate.

"You three are to run the pay tills."

_'Shit,'_ Draco mentally cursed as he moved back into the ring.

Voldemort looked around at his followers, nodding as he considered his decisions. "Yes, that will be all, then. I want to see you all here at six o'clock, sharp-"

"Excuse me, but ... my Lord?"

Voldemort halted, turning to face the man that had spoken out of turn. Before him kneeled an unmasked Igor Karkaroff. "You never assigned me a place, my Lord."

Voldemort eyed him with annoyance, then looked over his list. Igor was right; he had not been assigned a job.

"Let's see," Voldemort mused, advancing on Igor. "Where would _you_ be suitable to work? - Ah, yes, I have it. _Customer Service_."

Igor was evidently unhappy with the Dark Lord's decision, but did not dare contradict him. "Of course, my Lord. It will be done."

"Right," Voldemort watched him as he slouched back to his place. "So, as I was saying before I was interrupted, you will all report here at six o'clock tomorrow morning. I trust that you are all as excited as_I_ am to bring my latest plan to fruition. I bid you all a good evening." 


	2. Chapter 2

WELCOME TO VOLDE-MART ... HOW MAY WE HELP YOU?

CHAPTER 2

-----

Monday morning dawned cloudless and sweltering hot, as is the wont of a mid-August day. Muggles across the Death Eater's hosting nation slouched their way to their environmentally unfriendly vehicles, pondering the pointlessness of their existence. The Death Eaters awoke in something resembling the mindset of the average working American. Though, unfortunately, they did not have a single Hummer or SUV between them with which to contemplate their life within, so they would have to settle with the space of floor that they had slept on the previous night.

Lucius awoke with a kink in his neck and a dull ache in his lower back. He immediately regretted his decision in finding slumber across the counter in the adjoining restaurant to the store, using the cash register as a resting place for his head. 

His grumblings were halted as he realized that he was not alone, for standing over him was a boy somewhere around his son's age. With a small shriek of surprise, Lucius moved away from the boy (who, it could be noted, was dangerously invading his personal space) and found himself on the floor on the opposite side of the counter from this mysterious adolescent.

As he rubbed his now-throbbing head, the boy leaned over the counter, gave Lucius an awry smile, and guffawed in a jovial matter. "Dude, you all right? Need a hand?"

The boy moved around the counter, but Lucius bounded off the floor before he could reach him. "No, I'm fine. I don't need your help."

The boy slowed in his advance, and Lucius was given a chance to examine him. He had long, clumped, unnaturally (probably bleached, he reasoned) blonde hair, and something stuck to his nose, which Lucius could not discern for the life of him. 

The boy became aware of Lucius' intense stare. The awry smile returned, and he grabbed hold of one of the clumps of hair. "You never seen dreadlocks before, or something?"

Lucius lifted his nose in a dignified manner. "Of course I have."

"Never seen a nose piercing, then?" the boy flicked the ring attached to his left nostril. 

"Is _that_ what it's called?" Lucius narrowed his eyes in dislike of the bodily decoration. 

To his surprise, the boy let out a loud laugh. "Old fogies like you _never_ understand body piercings. I should have known that was what you were looking at."

"_Excuse_ me?" Lucius hissed in outrage through his teeth. "Old _fogy_?"

To Lucius' further fury, the boy wrapped an arm around his shoulder and led him towards the exit of the restaurant, laughing once more. "Aw, don't take offense to that. Though, I'd advise you work on controlling your temper, if you're working here - er, you _are_ working here, aren't you? You didn't just wander in off the street?"

"No, I work here," Lucius quickly corrected him, not wanting to be mistaken for the common street folk that littered the area surrounding the entrance to the store.

"What's your name?" the boy asked as he let go of Lucius when they reached the pay tills.

"Lucius Malfoy," he muttered, eyeing his possible exits.

The boy extended his hand. "My name's Aiden. I run the till in the McDonalds here. Where do _you_ work?"

Lucius avoided shaking Aiden's hand, waiting for him to put it back by his side. "I'm working in the - uh..."

"Don't remember?" the boy crossed his arms, grinned, and nodded in understanding. "That happens to me too, sometimes, when I get baked."

Lucius furrowed his brow. "Someone cooked you?"

Aiden laughed even louder than before. He clapped Lucius on the shoulder before moving back towards the restaurant. "I can tell that I going to like you, Pops. Hey, is it all right if I call you that?"

"No."

The boy didn't hear him. "All right then, Pops. See you around."

It took everything Lucius had not to extract his wand from the pocket of his robes and curse the skin off the boy before him. How _dare_ he make Lucius look like a fool!

His hand twitched towards his pocket, but he was halted when he heard someone call his name. Turning around, he saw Barty standing near the entrance of the store, beckoning him over to him. Looking back once more at Aiden, who waved at him from behind the counter, he marched across the store towards where the Death Eaters were beginning to gather without a second thought.

"All right, so, we need to get ready for our first day of work," Barty spoke over the Death Eaters' grumblings. "Look, I know that most of you've had a rough first night sleeping in the store, but, believe me, it was better than the Dark Lord's first idea to buy the store out of its tent supply and join the street folk outside on the pavement.

"Now, before we begin, I would like you all to direct your attention to my blue vest," he spoke louder as the Death Eaters began to voice their various complaints about their sleeping experiences. "Since you are now employed in a Muggle store, it is absolutely imperative that you wear the required uniform. Wormtail here will come around with a t-shirt, vest, and a pair of dress pants. This is what you are to wear whenever you are on duty."

A loud cry was heard from the back of the crowd. Bellatrix pushed her way to the front, crossed her arms, and narrowed her eyes at Barty and Wormtail. "I refuse to wear Muggle clothing, Barty. I won't hear of it."

"The Dark Lord has commanded it," Barty replied in a level voice, now that all the Death Eaters had finally fallen silent. "And, unless you wish to displease him, you'll wear the damn vest."

If looks could kill, Barty would have been six feet beneath the ground. However, though she was torn over her options of either serving her Lord and looking like a fool, or else disobeying her Lord and suffering the repercussions of her actions, she accepted the vest from Wormtail as he past her.

"Thank you, Bellatrix," Barty respectfully inclined his head towards her. "The Dark Lord will be here in a moment's time to address all the employees when the Muggles arrive, so I would suggest that you hurry up and get changed."

Bellatrix ran to catch up with her sister as they left for the change rooms in the Apparel department. "What do _you_ think about this, Cissy? I find it very hard to believe that the Dark Lord would force his followers into this outfit. I think that this is all _Barty's_ doing!"

"Now, now, Bella," Narcissa attempted to calm her down. "It's not that bad. Sure, they aren't the _nicest_ things I've ever worn, but I'm willing to make due if the Dark Lord wants me to."

"Besides," Alecto spoke as she joined them. "Barty said that the Dark Lord would be addressing us once we're changed into our uniforms. We'll just ask him _then_ if this is what he intended."

"That's true," Bellatrix nodded, shutting the door of the changing stall behind her. "I'll be sure to do that. Where were you stationed again, Alecto?"

Alecto scoffed from the stall beside her. "Jewelry."

"That's not too bad," Narcissa added to the conversation from Bellatrix's other side. "I myself am working here, in the Apparel department."

There was a brief silence from Alecto's end. "Can you two seriously see me working in a _Jewelry_ department? _Honestly._ Amycus even had to explain what Jewelry was to me, since my expertise on the subject is rather vague. And, not only that, but I'm being forced to work with a Muggle."

"So am I," Narcissa replied. "But I'm planning on making the best out of it. I think I might actually get along with whoever I'm working with."

"Narcissa, it's a _Muggle_," Bellatrix reminded her. "You will _not_ get along with them. I will make sure of that."

"Where are _you_ stationed, Bellatrix?" Alecto asked as she came out of the change room, putting the vest on over her shirt. "I didn't hear the Dark Lord when he told you."

Bellatrix let out a small growl as she too emerged into the small hallway. "Flowers and Gifts."

Narcissa did not try to suppress her laughter. "If I get a break, I'll have to come and see how that's going."

"I _forbid_ you from coming near me!" Bellatrix exploded as she turned to return to the store's entrance. "If you do, I'm going to tell the Dark Lord that you aren't doing your job."

"Here we go again," Narcissa whispered to Alecto behind her hand as they trailed Bellatrix. "Whenever she doesn't get her way, she runs off and tattles-"

"I can hear you, you know," Bellatrix snapped over her shoulder, quickening her pace.

They arrived back at the entrance of the store to find that more people had joined their numbers. It appeared that most of the Muggle employees that had stayed on were elderly, spare the few teenagers that had managed to secure their positions when Voldemort went through the lists of people working there, firing those who would be replaced by his own workers.

Most, if not all, of the Death Eaters eyed each other warily, as though daring one another to say something about their own uniform, despite the fact that they were all dressed in the exact same way. The Dark Lord had joined them as well, dressed the same way he had been the night before, but with two noticeable additions to his outfit.

"My follow - _my fellow_ employees," he spoke from behind the black fabric covering his face once everyone had quieted down. "I would like to introduce myself as your new CEO, but since names aren't really all that important to me, you will only call me Chief, or the Big Guy. Whichever you prefer. Now, the store is due to open in a quarter of an hour, and I want you all in your places at that time. I want this facility to be fully operational."

He wrapped himself in the cape that he had donned since the night before. "Are there any questions?"

A Muggle girl in her late teens hesitantly raised her hand. She seemed to be contemplating as to whether or not she should actually ask her question.

"Yes?"

"Sir, I hope you don't mind me asking," she nervously toyed with her hair. "But, why are you wearing a burka?"

The Dark Lord contemplated her, narrowing his eyes from behind the cloth, now established to be the same kind of material worn by Muslim women. "That is a silly question. Go on, now - all of you. It's time to open the store."

The Dark Lord left in the direction of his office, and Bellatrix watched him as he walked away. She had refrained from asking him about her uniform, for once she saw the non-magical employees, it became apparent to her that in order for His plans to go through as wanted, they all needed to blend in with the Muggle population.

"Oh no," she mumbled as three Muggle women approached her, Narcissa, and Alecto. Narcissa and Alecto saw them coming as well, and moved closer to one another, hoping that they would only pass.

The young girl that had questioned the Dark Lord's burka and two elderly women stopped in front of them.

The oldest looking woman smiled in a welcoming, yet fraudulent, way. "Hello, there. My name is Mabel, and I work in the Apparel department. This here is Blanche-" she gestured to the other elderly woman, who only scowled, "-And this is Sophia," she nodded towards the younger girl. "We understand that you three are new here, and that you've replaced our old partners. Which of you is it that's working in the Apparel department?"

Narcissa stepped forward. "That would be me. My name is Narcissa, this is my sister Bellatrix, and _this_ is Alecto."

Mabel's smile widened. "I guess you're working with me, now. Shall we go? Our department is usually busy right when the store opens."

Narcissa nodded, following Mabel as she led her away. "All right, then."

With Narcissa and Mabel gone, the four remaining women looked between each other awkwardly, at a loss for words now that their speakers had left them alone. 

The younger girl put her hand lightly on Blanche's shoulder. "Well, Blanche works in the Flowers and Gifts department. Which of you is starting there today?"

Bellatrix watched as Blanche glared maliciously at the young girl, compelling her to let go of her and cease all physical contact between them. "Me."

"All right," the girl smiled nervously, and then turned to Alecto. "I'm guessing that you're in Jewelry, then?"

Alecto nodded in confirmation, and the two of them left, leaving Bellatrix with the elderly Blanche. There were no words spoken between the two, only an exchange of looks of mutual dislike.

"What kind of a name is Bellatrix?" the woman snapped, her shrill voice causing Bellatrix's insides to writhe in immediate hatred.

Bellatrix put her hands on her hips, and narrowed her eyes at the woman. "What kind of a name is _Blanche_?"

Blanche mirrored Bellatrix's actions, and a tense moment went by where neither of them spoke a word. Finally, Blanche bust past Bellatrix into the opposite direction, knocking into her shoulder. For an old woman, she could still move at a fairly fast speed. 

"Come on, then," she snapped. "I guess I have to show you what you're doing, since _you_ probably haven't the faintest clue."

Bellatrix's hand jumped for her wand in her pocket, but she realized that she had left it in the pocket of her robes. Muttering under her breath, she began to mentally prepare herself for a day with her new partner. After much hesitation, Bellatrix finally began to make her way in the direction of the Flowers and Gifts department. She could already tell that she and Blanche was going to get along _just fine_. 


	3. Chapter 3

WELCOME TO VOLDE-MART ... HOW MAY WE HELP YOU?

CHAPTER 3

-- -- -- -- --

Lucius sighed in dismay as he attempted to straighten his nametag. He was absolutely _sure_ that he had spoken his name clearly enough to the man that had gone around a few minutes ago collecting names, but he could only assume now that either he had too foreign of an accent, or that the printer-man was something of an idiot.

He heard a chuckle coming from behind the counter, followed by Rabastan's voice. "Nice to meet you, _Lucas_."

"Shut up," Lucius grumbled. "Did he at least get _your_ name right?"

Lucius glanced down at Rabastan's nametag, leaned back his head , and then emitted a great laugh. "Jackson? _Jackson_? I'm going to go ahead and assume that the old man can't hear that well."

"When he comes back tomorrow, we'll get him to fix everything," Rabastan resolved with a sturdy nod in Lucius' direction.

"That's going to be tough, seeing as how he's going on medical leave today," a third voice entered the mix, catching both Lucius and Rabastan's attention. "And I'm not sure when he's going to come back."

Lucius looked at the young boy before him, and disliked him as immediately as he had formed a vendetta against the boy in the restaurant. His shoulder length, shaggy brown hair, baggy pants, piercings, and - after closer inspection - his tattoos caused one of Lucius' eyebrows to nearly rise by its own accord.

"I'm Jacob, by the way," the boy introduced himself. "I've worked here in the Electronics department for nearly two years now, and I suppose I'll have to train the two of you. Do you know how to tell the difference between LCD and HD televisions?"

Lucius and Rabastan exchanged a glance of confusion. LCD? HD? What was this kid going on about?

Jacob seemed unfazed by this. "All right, then ... that's pretty common. Listen up, though. I'll give you a small downlo' on what's going on. We are out of iPod Nanos until next week, and the Xbox 360s have been recalled due to an unfixable bug. The PS3s have just arrived, as have the iPod Touches. We only have 8GB and 16GB for now, so if anyone asks about the 32GBs, tell them that they'll have to wait until next week. Is that clear?"

Lucius and Rabastan stared at the boy, and then slowly nodded. Jacob smiled, and clapped his hands together. "All right, then. I'll work behind the counter today, if you two want to walk around here and get to know your products."

"Sounds good," Rabastan spoke, and then pushed Lucius down towards the opposite end of the Electronics department. "He lost me at 'iPod'."

Lucius scoffed. "He lost _me_ at 'downlo''."

Rabastan looked around, and then glanced back at Lucius. "What are we going to do? We're going to look like fools if someone asks us a question. We don't know a thing about _anything_ here-"

"Excuse me, but do you fine gentlemen work here?"

Lucius and Rabastan's blood ran cold as an old woman's voice permeated their conversation. They slowly turned around, already in the process of mourning their loss of integrity as highly trained and skilled Death Eaters.

"Yes, we work here," Lucius carefully answered as a sudden sweat began to run down the back of his neck.

The little woman grinned at them, revealing her rotting dentures. "I have a grandson, and I want to buy him a nice little present for his birthday next week. What would you suggest?"

Lucius and Rabastan stared blankly at her, until Rabastan bit the bullet. "How old is he?"

"He is turning fifteen."

"Hm," Rabastan mumbled as he looked around. "I don't know. I don't think that he would like anything in _this_ department. Why don't you try elsewhere, and see what you can find?"

Her smile flickered, but she nodded. "All right, if you say so. I could have sworn that he had mentioned something about an iPod, or something like that."

"Oh, well, we have those here," Lucius decided that he would give it his best shot at finding what this woman was looking for. "I think they're actually out until next week, though."

"Well that's just too darn bad," the little woman attempted to snap her fingers, but failed. "I suppose I'll go and find something else that he might like, then."

The old woman hobbled away with her walker, and Lucius and Rabastan sighed in relief. That had not been as bad as they had thought it would be. They had actually managed to maintain a cool head and help a customer in the process.

"Well, I'm getting tired of this," Rabastan mumbled to Lucius as they avoided a woman trying to get their attention next to the battery stand. "Do you think we get breaks?"

"What time is it?" Lucius looked around for a clock, and saw one on a nearby stereo. "It's nearly eleven o'clock. Let's ask that kid what he thinks."

They made a beeline down the CD aisle towards where Jacob stood, but just as they reached the end, the woman that had been standing next to the batteries appeared before them, cutting them off. "Hey, listen, can you help me over here? I need some B batteries."

Lucius and Rabastan looked at each other, and then nodded. Looking for B batteries didn't sound like it would be too hard. "All right. Let's go take a look."

They got over to the battery stand, and Lucius immediately took to reading the packages. It didn't seem too difficult: the battery sizes were printed in large letters on each individual package. "Let's see ... double A, triple A, C, D, 9V ... No, it looks like we don't have any B batteries."

"Are you sure?" the woman pressed. "My son sent me to the store to pick some up for his toy monster truck. He said that you would be sure to have them here. You have _everything_ here."

"I don't know what to tell you," Lucius shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that all the batteries we have here are on this display. Just a minute."

Lucius left the woman with Rabastan, and went over to the counter, where Jacob stood. "Do we have any B batteries?"

Jacob stopped what he was doing, and stared at Lucius. "_B_ batteries?"

"Yeah," Lucius confirmed. "That woman over there is looking for some."

Jacob looked over at the woman, and then smiled ever so slightly. "Send her over here, would you?"

"All right," Lucius nodded, and then went back to where the woman and Rabastan awkwardly stood. "Jacob said to send you over there."

"Me?" Rabastan asked.

"No, you," Lucius looked at the woman, who nodded and left them to stand there. The two of them watched as Jacob told the woman something, laughing as he did so.

They watched as she quickly used the telephone, and then came back over to them. "The boy over there tells me that there are no such thing as B batteries."

Lucius and Rabastan glanced at one another in confusion. "But, how can that be? There are C and D batteries, and two variations of A. Why not B?"

The woman laughed, and then shook her head. "I called my son. He told me that he needed _D_ batteries. I must have misheard him on my way out the door."

"Oh, well, here then," Lucius handed her a package of D batteries, and she went on her way. They watched as the woman and Jacob chuckled, Jacob glancing over her shoulder towards them and shaking his head. They had never felt so embarrassed in their life, but how were they supposed to know any better?

"I want to go home," Rabastan grumbled. "This sucks. I've never felt stupider in my entire life."

Lucius silently agreed, and waited until the woman had left the front desk before approaching it. "When do we get a break?"

Jacob looked up at the clock. "We only get a half hour break, but you can take it now, if you want. When you get back, I'll take mine. You two'll have to be in charge of the _whole_ department. Do you think you could handle that?"

Lucius and Rabastan exchanged a sullied glance. Them, in _charge_? They could hardly handle the customers, as it was!

Jacob noticed their looks of discomfort, and sighed heavily. "Fine, listen. I'll run to the McDonalds and grab some food, and I'll spend my break here with you, just in case you need some help. Deal?"

Lucius and Rabastan did not believe that they could ever be so thankful for a Muggle. They both nodded, and then left for the adjoining restaurant that Lucius had woken up in that morning. As they moved closer to the store's unmistakable exit, they individually fought the temptation to run as hard as they could towards it, and not to stop until they could not see this blasted store in their wake. However, with a fleeting reminder of why they were here, and whom it was they served, they merely sighed and carried on past it.

As they moved between where the Muggles paid for their new purchases and the customer service station, Lucius recalled that his son and his friends were working at what the Dark Lord had called the 'tills'. Vaguely interested in how that was working out for Draco, Vincent, and Gregory, Lucius took to watching as he continued to follow a now eagerly hungry Rabastan. Vincent's money-box was beeping incessantly as he attempted to pinpoint the problem, and Draco was shouting advice at him over the rumblings of the dissatisfied customers while trying to rush people through his line. Gregory seemed to understand what he was doing, but, as Lucius had no problem believing, was going about it as slowly as was humanly possible.

"I'm glad I'm not working there," Rabastan commented as they reached the restaurant called McDonalds. "I'd _much_ rather work with the eclectrics things."

Lucius nodded in agreement. "Yes. At least there we can try and avoid the customers. Those three have no choice, it seems."

"This is _bullshit_," Bellatrix grumbled in an undertone as Lucius and Rabastan drew closer to the table that she, Narcissa, and Walden occupied. "Absolute, grade A _bullshitting_ rubbish. That woman is going to drive me _insane_-!"

"Bella, keep your voice down," Narcissa muttered through her teeth. "The customers are starting to look at us."

She sent a glare in her sister's direction, and then huffily crossed her arms as she glanced up at the clock. "I've got two minutes left. Where did my half an hour go?"

"You've been ranting and raving ever since you got here," Walden commented. "At least you're not working with a little _freak_, like I am-"

"A Muggle teenager?" Lucius inquired as he and Rabastan reached them. "We have to work with one, too. He keeps making us out to be fools."

"I saw him," Walden told them. "Yours is a pureblood, compared to _mine_. He's a morbid one. He keeps talking about death and dying. And-" he dropped his voice. "I saw his arms. He's got _scars_."

The rest of the Death Eaters exchanged a disgusted glance. Self-inflicted wounds? As they each considered how he could have possibly obtained such marks, all but Bellatrix yielded to the shiver that ran the length of their spines.

"His name's Clinton," Walden added. "And he wouldn't say a _word_ after he told me his name-"

"Well, what's this? A gathering?"

"My Lord!" Lucius greeted him with a respectful bow, which earned him a couple of unwarranted chuckles from the Muggles at the table next to them. Lucius dealt them a death glare, but it did nothing to curb their amusement.

"Why aren't you all at your posts?" the Dark Lord inquired, readjusting the birthday hat that sat at a strange angle on his head. "Why are you in here?"

"We're on break-"

"Nonsense," he narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Back to your posts. _Now_, I say!"

After exchanging one last quick glance, the five Death Eaters bade each other good-bye and went their separate ways. The Dark Lord watched after them with an intent gaze, making sure that they did not try anything stupid. He did not entirely suspect them to, but it was always a possibility. However, his old laws stood firm: anyone who disobeyed his every whim and command would more than earn them the punishment that came their way.

And it was a good thing that his Death Eaters understood that, he thought. For, if they didn't, there would have been absolutely no way that he would have been able to talk them into this latest venture.


End file.
